Is he now a dud when he used to be a dude?
Does sex with him feel like he's trying to shoot pool with a rope?
Then Sporkialis may just be what the doctor ordered!
Sporkialis is the first drug to actually stimulate the female sexual appetite. Unlike the crude and 'one-trick-pony' effects of Viagra and Levitra, Sporkialis targets the real problem; the genuine cause of FEM (Female Excitement Malfunction)...her partner!
It is a scientific fact that snoring, burping and flatulating men are of little worth to a woman in producing sexual satisfaction. Beyond generating tax dependents, most males yield less romantic value than a leaky faucet in the bathroom. The average man's enthusiasm peters out after only a few minutes. But Sporkialis instantly transforms your mate into an organic machine gun with a nearly endless clip.
The active ingredient in Sporkialis delivers a mild to significant bio-electrical shock to the hippocampus of his brain. Because of the intimate relationship between emotion and memory within the brain's limbic system, your bed-buddy will have utterly no recollection of events after being dosed with Sporkialis.
Sporkialis: The Authentic Genital Tool!
(During clinical trials some side effects have been noted; these include: Audio and visual hallucinations accompanied by temporary or permanent psychotic break; sensitivity to oxygen; minor skin irritations progressing into necrotizing fasciitis (flesh-eating disease); occasional grand mal seizures developing into continuous convulsive episodes; and systemic organ shutdown. Apart from these minor inconveniences, Sporkialis has proven to be a generally safe and effective medication when taken as recommended).
STORAGE
Store at precisely 0 degrees Centrigrade. Do not touch except with CDC-certified Hot Zone Level 4 reinforced gloves. Do NOT under any circumstances breathe the contents of the hermetically-sealed cannister. (Immediately contact the Coroner if any of these security precautions are compromised).
Sporkialis™
Another Innovation From Stepford Pharmaceuticals
(A Division of KrushSkull Industries)
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