In just 15 minutes a day; half the time you're wasting trying to develop rock hard abs, you can generate One Hundred Thousand to ONE MILLION Dollars in extra income every WEEK!
That's right. No more frowning supervisor leering over you. No more harsh write ups or petty complaints requiring you to invent elaborate excuses. No more unforgiving time clock hacking your life up into ten minute breaks and half hour lunches. No more implacable quota stalking you through the days and chasing you through your nightmares. No more cruel threats to your livelihood and happiness that you have to dodge and scuttle to avoid. No more merciless rules that you have to pretend to follow. No more humiliating demands that you have to bend over and accept. THOSE DAYS ARE OVER!
Sleep all day if you want. Hit the casino whenever you feel like it. Play the ponies everyday if the spirit moves you. Write a preposterous diet book and peddle it on Oprah if the mood strikes you.
TAKE BACK YOUR DIGNITY. Put a contract out on your former manager. Schedule that sadistic freak in Accounting for an emergency colostomy and lobotomy. From now on, YOU’RE THE BOSS!
Sick of having to get up before noon and fighting traffic just to get to work in time to be suspended for tardiness?
Disgusted with the lousy pay and crummy benefits that your 'in-bed-with-management' union officials negotiated in your last bargaining agreement?
Tired of coming home to squalling kids and a spouse whose always bitching and moaning over how much better off they would have been if they'd married somebody with a future?
Ready to strangle the next car dealer who walks you over to the cheapest bucket of bolts on the used car lot after looking at your credit record?
Then prepare yourself for the good life. Because it is just $99.99 away.
Yes, just because you are short and uncoordinated does not mean that you can't make the same kind of money as Shaquille O'Neal.
Just because you haven't got the business savvy that God gave a toadstool doesn't mean that you can't match the earning power of Donald Trump.
Just because you dropped out of school before graduating from kindergarten and your idea of art involves velvet representations of Elvis in his early years doesn't mean that you can't compare pay stubs with Bill Gates or Warren Buffett.
Just because you are so ugly your face looks like the north end of a southbound skunk doesn't mean that you can't equal, dollar for dollar, the wages of Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie.
And just because you're dumber than a fence post and less motivated than a corpse six weeks after rigor mortis doesn't mean that you can't own five MANSIONS, tool around town in a FERRARI or a 200 foot stretched LIMO, fly off to the French Riviera in one of your three private JETS, dine on board your aircraft carrier-sized YACHT or spend your considerable free time toasting your achievements and offering marital advice to Bill Clinton and political tips to Hillary.
The SECRET to vast WEALTH and financial INDEPENDENCE is only a quick phone call away. For the measly amount of just $99.99 you can become the hero of your own SUCCESS story.
Isn't it time that you claim the life that you've always dreamed about? My copyrighted guide to MONEY and FREEDOM contains easy to understand, step-by-step instructions for transforming your pathetic and marginal excuse for existence into a powerful, dramatic and celebrated lifestyle.
Become the envy of all those infuriating people who relentlessly criticized you and predicted that you would amount to nothing and probably wind up in jail.
The answers to ALL of your questions can be found within the first ten pages of my new book:
"GET RICH QUICK!"
Just follow my simple directions and if you have not converted your pitiful savings into a modest fortune within the first eleven minutes, I will return your entire investment, with interest...GUARANTEED! (limitations apply) And you can keep all fifteen pages of my glossy manual FREE.
What have you got to lose?
Get up off your lazy ass and CALL NOW! Our operators are standing by to take your MasterCard, Visa or Discover Card.
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CALL "1-800-PROSPER"
Your new life of AFFLUENCE is just within reach of your telephone.
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"Get Rich Quick" copyright © 2004 Martha Stewart
An Innovative Schematic To Wealth & Happiness From UFool Publications, Inc.
(A Division of KrushSkull Industries)
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